Saturday, November 21, 2009

Back at home!

I rode into town late last night and, boy, am I thankful to be home! My son was not nearly as excited to see me as I hoped. It was late, he was tired, I was tired and I was really disappointed. I know that I had too high of hopes, but I still felt like he was just like, eh you're back. Thankfully this morning, he let me snuggle with him, which he usually won't do. I know that it is silly for my feelings to be hurt, but they really were. Perhaps it is just hormones, but I expected something that just didn't happen and I felt left down. I guess that is something that I need to prepare myself for as I will have more periods of being away from him. I can't expect things out of him. He is just a baby and it is silly to expect him to emote like I do.

On the upside, we had no problems nursing. A week of bottles did not ruin him. He jumped back into it like I had never left. My supply is down, but I am pretty sure that it will come back as we have more time together.

I am just grateful that both he and I made it through the separation. This experience was important. Now I know that my husband can care for our son without me hovering. I know that my son is flexible enough to survive pretty much anything that is thrown at him. And, most important, I know that I can be without him. Although it was super painful and it will never get easier, at least I know that both he and I will be fine.

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