Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Dealing with the Boy Bits

Being a mother to a boy has already proven more challenging than I expected. Last week, we had an, ahem, weiner problem. I won't go into the gory details, but it ended up with a frantic evening visit to the doctor's office and a even later pick up at the drugstore. I have always said to my husband that since I don't have the parts, I can't be counted on to know that much about it, so it's his deal. I honestly expect him to do the potty training because he is the subject matter expert. Well, he was underway, and the boy had problems, I had to act. Turns out it wasn't a big deal and even though we got a perscription, it was really only for B's comfort and quicker recovery than a real issue.

As the doctor explained that these things are very common and "there's just a lot of skin down there," I was thinking to myself, what is this kid going to do when he is older and I don't necessarily see these issues. I sure wasn't going to tell my dad and problems I was having in that region. I mean, it's not like my husband won't be around at all, but still when the weiner crisis hits and he is underway, what am I going to do with a 12 year old boy who has no interest in his mom knowing about it.

Not only is he going to be embarrassed, but so am I. I could barely keep myself from giggling as I was explaining the specifics of the problem to the after hours nurse. I just couldn't help it, I was listening to myself talk about it so clinically that I found it hilarious every time I said the "p" word. Real grown up, I know. Needless to say, both of us will be a mess when this problem hits later in life. I know that I am just going to have to be up front with him as he is growing so that he does feel comfortable coming to me when his dad isn't around. I also know that I need to make sure I act in a mature manner when these issues arise. But, I still can't help but giggle when I look back on it and I still get red in the face when I explain it to my husband.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Outdoor Time

J and I aren't outdoor people. Sure we'll hike around a national park and run outside, but we aren't the type of people to just hang out outside. We would much rather be in the heat/air conditioned comfort of our own home. I realized this might not be a great habit to pass on to our child. I sat down and thought about the last time the child had spent any significant time outdoors. I really had to rack my brain. There are just so many wonderful things to do inside, we just never think to go outside.

So, I took him out on the back deck today, I felt like he needed it. The child loved it! He was crawling around like it was going out of style. He enjoyed picking up leaves and feeling the different textures of wood on the deck. I was really suprised at how much he seemed to enjoy it. I will be sure to add in some outdoor time to his day.

The other beings that really seemed to enjoy the outside time with the baby were the dogs. I mean, I know the dogs like to spend time with B. They tend to hang out in the same room with him anyway, but they were just so happy when B was out there. It was like they were introducing their own world to him. They keep coming up and checking him. I am really looking forward to when they can really play together. Well, it's time to make dinner, I think we might just eat on the back deck.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Single Mom at 10 months

This week I rocked it as a single mom (maybe not rocked it, but survived it). J was underway and I did it, but, boy, was it different than doing it when he was a little baby. In some ways easier and some ways harder. Easier in that I got more sleep. I am grateful that I have a good night sleeper but even more so this week when I had to get up at 0345 3 days in a row for work (BOO on that by the way). Harder in that the boy is mobile. I couldn't even go the bathroom without having to worry where he was and what he was into. I admit I got a bit frustrated with this tonight. He kept ripping toliet paper and hanging on me and all I wanted to was go to bathroom for 2 minutes!

I know that this is what we are in for for the next couple of years and soon enough the tables will be turned and J will be in the single dad for his fair share of time. There were times where I honestly loved being here by myself. We had special cuddle time and we shared some special moments. However, there were quite a few times where I could have used a relief. Now that B is cruising, he bonks himself a lot, like really a lot, like I am worried about brain damage a lot. Needless to say this all ends in many tears and I told you so's. It's exhausting.

Plus, you never realize how much work the old man does until he was gone. Trash, pet care, car care. There were a lot more things that I had to take care of this week. I have never liked it when J is gone, but now with B on the move and so much more to handle, I like it even less. Oh well, it's the Navy, what can you do? I know one thing, I'll be spending some quality alone time on Saturday!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Day After Not My Day

Well, here I am at work. The day after my disasterous having to stay home. This shouldn't be suprising, but nobody cared but me. Nobody looked down their nose at me, no one had anything nasty to say. In fact, most people just asked how everything was going.

I got myself very upset yesterday about something that didn't matter. My professional reputation is still intact. While there aren't too many other mothers here, there are a whole heck of a lot of dads who got it. Stuff happens, people get sick, no big deal.

So how come I got so darn upset? I think it is a couple of things. One, I haven't been sleeping that well since B is sick, which probably caused me to be a bit shorter than usual. Two, this is the first time that I have had to deal with this type of situation. I like things to be well planned out with everything all wrapped up. I am slowly learning that that just isn't possible. It still gets me when things don't go my way though. Three, being a female officer is tough. There is a lot of pressure to make sure you don't fall into a catagory. I know that the military has allowed females to do pretty much everything for a while now, but there is still an immense amount of pressure to measure up. Being a mom makes it all the tougher. In a community that is built around being the best and being able to do it all, it is challenging to admit your failings (not that being a parent is a failing, but some might see it that way).

While I now know that I can survive this and it isn't going to be a problem if it happens, I certainly don't want this to become a common thing. There is a fine line between unfornate occurances and dirtbags and I really don't want to cross that line.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Not my day...

Today was just not my day.  B is still sick, still super snotty, and I am pretty sure he has an ear infection.  The kicker was, the nanny was sick too!  I had to stay home from work today.  Now, stuff happens, people are sick, I get it.  BUT, staying home from work doesn't work for me. 

As a Naval Officer, I don't find that acceptable.  I was embarrassed.  I felt like everyone at my office was wondering about me and my ability.  Before I was a mom, I would have questioned why someone would stay home.  Being in the military is a huge commitment and it is an all the time commitment.  You can get called up at anytime to do anything.  That's just the way it is.  Today made me question is I can meet that commitment.  I love my job, I really do, but day's like today make me question if I can keep this up.

I know that our situation is different.  There isn't anyone who can easily stay home.  J is on sea duty so he has no option.  That leaves me.  I also know that we need to find a back up option.  I looked into drop in day cares today and we are going to try and find some stay at home moms who can help us out.  It's just tough because I want to be here when he is sick, honestly, I want to be home all the time, but I can't.  I know that everyone has bad days and that when I look back on today I won't be that upset, but right now, I felt like crapo.  

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The Meaning of the Word "Blow"

Oh, how I wish my son knew what it meant.  B has a cold, again.  Sadly, I am pretty sure he got it from J.  I think that everytime our son has gotten sick, it has come from one of us, not from other kids.  We're the germ factories!  Anywho, the boy is a snot machine.  Snot everywhere and on everyone.  He sneezes and it just drips out.  It is SO gross, like mega gross, like grosser than anything we have previously dealt with.  Ugh, I can't take it, everything has a fine layer of slime on it. 

I truly wish the boy knew how to blow his nose.  I use the snot sucker thing, but it doesn't get that much out and it is such a battle that it almost isn't worth it.  I have to try and pin him down, hold his head, and use the sucker without hitting his brain all at the same time.  Terrible. 

I feel bad for my buddy because I know he doesn't feel good and it doesn't help that I get frustrated with him.  He can't sleep very well, so neither can we.  J and I have been taking turns sleeping in the rocking chair with him so he can get some drainage. 

It's tough because I was really looking forward to relaxing this weekend.  We have a tough couple of weeks ahead of us and it would have been nice to have a calm weekend.  I know that I should just feel bad for my buddy, but I can't help but feel a little bad for myself.  Life goes on I suppose, I just wish I hadn't had an hour stolen from me to top it off! 

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Blink of an Eye

Do you ever have a moment when you look at your child and wonder where your little baby went?  That happened to me today.  B is now almost 10 months old and I can hardly believe it.  He stood up for the first time today (it was for seconds), but it seemed to make me see him in a whole new light.  I don't remember feeling like this when he crawled, he still seemed like a baby.  But with this...something just seems different.  It seems like my little buddy isn't so little anymore.

I have been so busy at work over the past couple of months that I feel like I just didn't notice how big he was getting.  He was playing today and it was like he was a completely different kid.  There wasn't just the usual banging.  He was starting to stack things, he was working to get the toys to do what he wanted.  It broke my heart in a way that it seems like a phase of B is already over.

I remember when he was born and he was soooooo teeny.  He and I would cuddle on the couch for hours, now I can barely get him to sit still with me to read our night time story.  I almost feel like he doesn't need me as much anymore, which is a miserable feeling. 

I know that I shouldn't be too upset, there is so many things to look forward to with him.  I know that there are going to be so many more times that I will have this same feeling.  I have to admit though, I snuck up to his room after he fell asleep and got him out and rocked him.  It was nice to have a quiet moment with him snuggled up to me.  I might just have to let him sleep in the room with me tonight while J is on the ship for duty.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Our Two Dumb Dogs

As I have already mentioned before, I have a hairy house, 3 cats, 2 dogs...heck, even the hubs is hairy.  This leads to a giant mess all the time.  B spends most of his day covered in hair and dirt that is tracked around by our two dummies.  I have more or less gotten over it.  My child eats hair, he is constantly dirty, it's cool. 

However, at times when I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed with hair, I wonder if maybe 5 pets is 4 pets too many.  There are multiple times a day that I get really frustrated when a cat claws furniture, or the dog eats a sock, or someone (culprits are currently unknown) knocks over glasses of water on the coffee table.  Now with the added stress of the baby, the pets can seem like just too much.

But, then a wonderful thing happens.  A cat comes and sits in my lap while I watch TV alone when J is on the ship.  Or B busts into a huge smile watching the puppies (they are almost 2, but they will always be puppies to us) play together.  Or I walk into a room and find the puppies snuggled together like they used to when we first brought them home.

I can honestly say that our pets are WONDERFUL with B.  The cats avoid him, which I get, he pulls their hair, but we he does get a hold of one, they just run away.  They don't scratch, they don't hiss, they just run away.  The puppies LOVE the baby.  They sleep in the room right by his crib.  They let him crawl all over them.  The like to just hang out in the room that he is in.  It's amazing.  Now, I am not stupid, I know that bad things can happen with pets at any minute, so we always watch B when the pets are around.  That said, I have to count myself very lucky that we have such good pets.  I know that the dogs are the way they are because of their temperment and their training, so we can take some credit, but with the cats, it's just amazing.  So, while my house is hairy and I get frustrated very often, I am grateful that we have 5 pets.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Odd Topic - Facebook and Ex-Boyfriends

Okay, this has nothing to do with parenting or the Navy, just random musings on a Friday when J has duty.  So, I am facing down my 10 year high school reunion.  I have been hemming and hawing over going since I found out about it.  There are just a few people that I want to see, which is fine, but there's another problem.  So, I was a nerd and I was in JROTC.  I thought it was so important.  Now that I am in the real Navy, I am painfully aware of how nerdy this was.  So here's the issue, I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to go back and talk to people about how cool JROTC was, cause it wasn't, not at all, we were nerds.

Here's another thing.  An ex-boyfriend found me on facebook and started emailing me.  I really have no desire to think about him again.  So I have been ignoring him, which I feel kind of bad about, but not really.  I don't have anything to say, it was over 10 years ago.  I am married, I have a kid, and I live a completely different life.  There is no longer anything for us to even remotely connect on.

I like facebook, I really do.  I love finding old friends that I never would have otherwise.  I like being able to keep up with people that we have to move away from.  However, there are some people that I wanted to leave in my past.  I don't want to relieve those memories, I don't want to think about who I was back then.  I feel like I have grown so much as person that I can't really relate who I was back then.  Ah well, technology isn't perfect.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

With B, can a 30 minute meal really take 30 minutes?

Getting ready for my week home alone with B. The hubs is on the ship and will soon be getting underway for a short period of time, leaving me and B all by our lonesome. I have done this before many times and know that this is certainly something that I can handle without issue. I just don't like it.

Yesterday, I realized how much things have changed with the just mom and B situation. I got home at 5 and quickly changed and feed B. Then I had to make dinner for J and I. Previously, I would put B in the highchair, throw down some Cheerios, and get to it. Not so yesterday. B just wasn't having the whole highchair thing. He whined, he cried, he threw things (a SUPER annoying habit), and blew raspberries. Finally, I gave in and let him loose on the floor. BIG MISTAKE. While stirring my enchilada sauce, he dumped the dog bowl. Then as I was trying to clean that up, he started pulling pots and pans out of the cabinents. All of this frukus had gotten the dogs riled up and they started circling both me and B. Needless to say, my 30 minute meal took much longer than 30 minutes.

I keep finding myself getting frustrated. With B, with the dogs, and with cooking dinner. I then got frustrated with myself because I only have 2 hours with B before he goes to bed and I was mad at him for being a baby! I feel horrible anytime I was time with him because it feels like we have so little of it. I know this is a normal feeling, I know that I shouldn't be too hard on myself. However, I can't help it. Being in the Navy where I leave for months at a time, I feel like I need to take in all the moments I can. Especially now, I blink and it seems like B has learned something new or changed in some way.

So, as a result, I am going to take advantage of this one on one time. I'm going to get frustrated (there's no way not to), but I am going to move on and enjoy the special moments I have with him rather than stressing and analyzing.