The Day After Not My Day

Well, here I am at work. The day after my disasterous having to stay home. This shouldn't be suprising, but nobody cared but me. Nobody looked down their nose at me, no one had anything nasty to say. In fact, most people just asked how everything was going.

I got myself very upset yesterday about something that didn't matter. My professional reputation is still intact. While there aren't too many other mothers here, there are a whole heck of a lot of dads who got it. Stuff happens, people get sick, no big deal.

So how come I got so darn upset? I think it is a couple of things. One, I haven't been sleeping that well since B is sick, which probably caused me to be a bit shorter than usual. Two, this is the first time that I have had to deal with this type of situation. I like things to be well planned out with everything all wrapped up. I am slowly learning that that just isn't possible. It still gets me when things don't go my way though. Three, being a female officer is tough. There is a lot of pressure to make sure you don't fall into a catagory. I know that the military has allowed females to do pretty much everything for a while now, but there is still an immense amount of pressure to measure up. Being a mom makes it all the tougher. In a community that is built around being the best and being able to do it all, it is challenging to admit your failings (not that being a parent is a failing, but some might see it that way).

While I now know that I can survive this and it isn't going to be a problem if it happens, I certainly don't want this to become a common thing. There is a fine line between unfornate occurances and dirtbags and I really don't want to cross that line.