Today was just not my day. B is still sick, still super snotty, and I am pretty sure he has an ear infection. The kicker was, the nanny was sick too! I had to stay home from work today. Now, stuff happens, people are sick, I get it. BUT, staying home from work doesn't work for me.
As a Naval Officer, I don't find that acceptable. I was embarrassed. I felt like everyone at my office was wondering about me and my ability. Before I was a mom, I would have questioned why someone would stay home. Being in the military is a huge commitment and it is an all the time commitment. You can get called up at anytime to do anything. That's just the way it is. Today made me question is I can meet that commitment. I love my job, I really do, but day's like today make me question if I can keep this up.
I know that our situation is different. There isn't anyone who can easily stay home. J is on sea duty so he has no option. That leaves me. I also know that we need to find a back up option. I looked into drop in day cares today and we are going to try and find some stay at home moms who can help us out. It's just tough because I want to be here when he is sick, honestly, I want to be home all the time, but I can't. I know that everyone has bad days and that when I look back on today I won't be that upset, but right now, I felt like crapo.