Getting Ready for the New Year

Well, I am finishing up my first year as a parent. It's amazing how much has changed in the last year. I couldn't have predicted how much would change and how much I would enjoy it. I met all my goals from last year. I ran a half marathon less than 6 months after having the baby, I had the baby safely, and I graduated from grad school. I can honestly say that I wouldn't change anything about the last year.

Now, this coming year, I would like to get the full marathon under my belt. I would like to lose the weight that I need to (I am not ready to admit how much in public :) ). Finally, I would like to work on a stronger family relationship. I know what we have now is good, but we can always make it better. With J going on deployment later in the year, I know that we need to have as strong a relationship as possible.

Well, off to the celebrations!

Three Cheers for Navy Leave Policy

Although it seems like I complain a great deal about the Navy on the blog, there is a great deal that I like about it. One of those things is that when we are home, we get pretty good time off at the holidays. We earn 30 days of paid vacation each year and every command that I have been at has always worked hard to have everyone get 10 days off each, which is pretty darn awesome. We are so thankful to have this time off to spend with our family. We left on Friday and don't have to be back until the Monday after Christmas. After talking to many of our friends while visiting the hubs parents, this is not nearly the case for everyone. So, I am giving big ups to the Navy for getting this one right.

Vaccinations

So, the hubs and I have chosen to follow the extended vaccination plan endorsed by Dr. Sears. We know that there are no links between autism and vaccinations. We decided that it would be best to limit the amount of stress that our sons body is placed under at one time. We are not omitting any vaccinations, merely taking them at a bit slower pace. 3 doctors that we have seen agreed that this method was fine and encouraged our actions.

Since we have arrived in VA, we have been shut out at every turn. We were told he would have to have 7 shots at once at the military clinic. A private doctor will not even see us. We went to the health department clinic to get some shots and were told that "you people" should just follow the CDC guidelines and were unable to obtain one of the shots required.

I seriously am beginning to doubt our decision, which is beyond frustrating. I feel that we are being bullied into an action we don't want to take. The health care in VA has literally taken away our choices as parents. I know in my heart of hearts that we are choosing the right option, but it is hard to not doubt myself with all this adversity.

The Bet

So, as I have mentioned before I really don't like exercising, but I have to as part of my job. Well, the way that I normally exercise is running. A lot. I literally run my behind off, averaging over 20 miles a week. It seems to be the only way that I can keep my weight in check. As a result of all this running, I have run my fair share of road races. Now I am never in contention for any type of prize, but I like to keep improving on my times.

My husband also runs road races. In fact, he has run a whole marathon and I am still stuck at the half. As a result, he holds the speed record for the marathon, BUT I hold the speed record for the half. So, we both have been half hearted running lately. I suggested we sign up for a very popular road race here in VA to give us something to shoot for. This led us into our bet. If I win, I get a trip to Disney World. If he wins, he gets a hot tub. Needless to say, there is ALOT riding on this race. I am currently running more and faster than he is. However, when he gets into it, he can really get going. So, you heard it here first. Now there is no recanting on either side.

Medical Care and the Military

So, we have generally been very pleased with the medical care that both ourselves and our son has received. Sure, it's not the best of the best, but when we are sick or hurt, we have been cared for. Our son's previous two doctors have been helpful, informative, and caring. We couldn't have been happier until yesterday.

Our son was due for some 6 month vaccinations. We scheduled an appointment with our new clinic. We follow the Dr. Sears extended vaccination schedule, which we have had NO issues with our previous doctors. In fact, both of them pointed out that we are the decision makers for our child's health care, they only offer recommendations. So, we waited yesterday while the nurses prepared to give B his shots. The nurse walks in and says the clinic's policy is to give all shots to get children up to date. No exceptions, no other options. This would mean B would receive 7 shots at one time. Wait, what? We decided to leave the clinic and try and find another source of care for our son, even if it means that we have to pay for his childcare out of our own pocket.

I understand that people worry about not getting vaccinations. However, we intend on getting all the shots, just at a different pace. Not only do I find it medically questionable to give a 6 month old 7 shots at one time, when were not even given the option of speaking to a doctor. We were told we could do this, or leave. I am frustrated because we feel that we were bullied into making a decision. We had the strength to hold true and make other decisions, but what about the younger enlisted parents? As we walked out, we began questioning our choices and wondering if we were in fact wrong. Needless to say, our frustration level with government health care is extremely high right now. We now are wading into the bureaucratic mess of a TRICARE change.

DESK!!

I have one! I am finally getting settled in to the new job. I have a desk, a computer, and a phone. No longer do I have to rely on the niceness of others to check my email. Hooray! Now, if I could just get something to do with my time. I have plenty to study up on, sure, but having something to actually complete and accomplish would be great.

Gearing up for the Holidays

So, as I have mentioned before, my hubs will not be home for Christmas next year. As a result, we are really super loading this year. We are visiting as many people as we, going as many places, and seeing as many things. This has led to some serious planning and will likely lead to some serious burn out at the end. But, we decided that we would be upset with ourselves if we didn't get this much in. That next year we would look back and wish we had done things differently.

We went to Busch Gardens last night for their Christmas celebration (it's relatively close to our house) for an our family only event. It was just me, the hubs, and B. We had a great time. We took B on the carosuel for the first time. We saw shows, ate good food, and had some special time for our new family. I had this sinking feeling that over the next few weeks this might be the only movement that we would have to savor as our own family. We willing be running so much, seeing so many people that it is unlikely that we will have a moment just to be a new family. I am not upset about this, I love being with my family during the holidays, but I don't want to look back next year when J isn't here and wish that we had had more time together. It is a delicate balancing act, we have to both do a whole bunch of stuff, but also take time as a family.

One week down...a lot more to go

So, I have officially survived my first week at my new job. I was able to some things done: I got my email set up, took care of medical and dental, got my clearance taken care of. However, the most important thing...a desk, I have not accomplished. It's really, really tough to do anything of consequence without a place to put your stuff, access a computer, and so on. I don't want to complain or make a big deal, but when I asked today and there was no hope of a desk anytime soon, I have to say, I got pretty frustrated. I know that it takes time for people to get things set up. I understand that there are constraints that people work under, but really, no desk?

Being away from B was pretty tough. When I got home at night, I really wanted to spend time with him, but I was also tired from work. I felt like I had so much to do at night, cleaning, cooking, so on, that I couldn't give him the attention that he deserved and needed. My husband works just as hard as I do and has as many responsibilities at home as I do. He helps out where he can, but I still have a lot to get done each night. I am grateful that our childcare situation is so great. We have a great nanny that we and B really, really like. It makes working a little bit easier, but I still have this crushing guilt. I know that I am doing the best that I can and that just has to be good enough, but I still feel like I could do better. On to week two...

3 days later and I am EXHAUSTED

Well, being back at work is exhausting. Getting up at 5 am is exhausting. Running in the mornings and taking care of the baby at night is exhausting. I get up early, take the dogs out and run, sit in traffic for an hour, work, sit in traffic for another hour, cook dinner, clean up, get B ready for bed and then have time to myself. It's 7:30 pm and I could honestly go to bed without any problem. I haven't even been working that hard at work! Not having a desk severely limits my ability to do anything. I know that things are only to get harder from here.

The thing of it is is that only a few years ago I was able to go out to the bars even though I was keeping a similar routine. It's crazy that I am just so much more tired now. I know that there is added pressure with the baby and husband, but I just feel OLD. Like someone is taking a straw and sapping all the energy out of me. I know that soon things will settle out and I will get my routine down. I will soon return to being able to function on very little sleep. It's just tough because I feel like I have to make compromises in my relationships. I don't think my hubs and I have had anytime to connect in the these days. I feel like we are ships passing in the night (Navy pun unintended). I feel bad also that B isn't getting the attention he desires. I want to be able to play with him and read to him as much as I know he deserves, but my patience is low and there is so much to be done that I feel like I am cutting corners.

I knew that this feeling was coming, but I didn't know that it would only take 3 days! Thankfully the weekend is coming up and then in just a few short weeks is Christmas (eek, I have so much to do)!