Well, being back at work is exhausting. Getting up at 5 am is exhausting. Running in the mornings and taking care of the baby at night is exhausting. I get up early, take the dogs out and run, sit in traffic for an hour, work, sit in traffic for another hour, cook dinner, clean up, get B ready for bed and then have time to myself. It's 7:30 pm and I could honestly go to bed without any problem. I haven't even been working that hard at work! Not having a desk severely limits my ability to do anything. I know that things are only to get harder from here.
The thing of it is is that only a few years ago I was able to go out to the bars even though I was keeping a similar routine. It's crazy that I am just so much more tired now. I know that there is added pressure with the baby and husband, but I just feel OLD. Like someone is taking a straw and sapping all the energy out of me. I know that soon things will settle out and I will get my routine down. I will soon return to being able to function on very little sleep. It's just tough because I feel like I have to make compromises in my relationships. I don't think my hubs and I have had anytime to connect in the these days. I feel like we are ships passing in the night (Navy pun unintended). I feel bad also that B isn't getting the attention he desires. I want to be able to play with him and read to him as much as I know he deserves, but my patience is low and there is so much to be done that I feel like I am cutting corners.
I knew that this feeling was coming, but I didn't know that it would only take 3 days! Thankfully the weekend is coming up and then in just a few short weeks is Christmas (eek, I have so much to do)!
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