Tuesday, March 2, 2010

With B, can a 30 minute meal really take 30 minutes?

Getting ready for my week home alone with B. The hubs is on the ship and will soon be getting underway for a short period of time, leaving me and B all by our lonesome. I have done this before many times and know that this is certainly something that I can handle without issue. I just don't like it.

Yesterday, I realized how much things have changed with the just mom and B situation. I got home at 5 and quickly changed and feed B. Then I had to make dinner for J and I. Previously, I would put B in the highchair, throw down some Cheerios, and get to it. Not so yesterday. B just wasn't having the whole highchair thing. He whined, he cried, he threw things (a SUPER annoying habit), and blew raspberries. Finally, I gave in and let him loose on the floor. BIG MISTAKE. While stirring my enchilada sauce, he dumped the dog bowl. Then as I was trying to clean that up, he started pulling pots and pans out of the cabinents. All of this frukus had gotten the dogs riled up and they started circling both me and B. Needless to say, my 30 minute meal took much longer than 30 minutes.

I keep finding myself getting frustrated. With B, with the dogs, and with cooking dinner. I then got frustrated with myself because I only have 2 hours with B before he goes to bed and I was mad at him for being a baby! I feel horrible anytime I was time with him because it feels like we have so little of it. I know this is a normal feeling, I know that I shouldn't be too hard on myself. However, I can't help it. Being in the Navy where I leave for months at a time, I feel like I need to take in all the moments I can. Especially now, I blink and it seems like B has learned something new or changed in some way.

So, as a result, I am going to take advantage of this one on one time. I'm going to get frustrated (there's no way not to), but I am going to move on and enjoy the special moments I have with him rather than stressing and analyzing.

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