Since B's arrival, we have been spending a great deal more time with J's family. Before B, we would visit once a year for a couple of days, maybe twice, and that's all the face to face interaction that we would have with the in-laws. After B, we see them about every 2 months for at least 4 or 5 days each visit. They visit us, we visit them, it hasn't been so bad.
We took a vacation with them last week and it became so bad. I am not going to go through a laundry list of all the things that went wrong and I fully admit that my pregnant and hot state played a large part in my frustration, but I can promise you this, I will not take on a vacation with my in-laws without J again. I don't care what happens, I won't do it. I'm not even sure I would vacation with them with J present. (BTW, when I related what happened to J, he was giddy that this meant he wouldn't have to vacation with them.
I think the biggest difference between this time and all the previous times is that when J was present, I could escape. I wasn't soley responsible (whether real or imagined) for their entertainment. I purposely schedule hair cuts, lunches with friends, or a date night with J when they visit us. When we visit them, we visit with J's friends or take trips out in town. No escape this time. It was all in-law, all the time.
Let me say, my in-laws are very nice people. They aren't mean to me, they don't question my parenting, they love our son. In fact, under most circumstances, I would say that I am very lucky to have the in-laws that I do. They don't interfere in our lives in the slightest and are always very supportive of us. The problem with this situation is that we are just VERY different people. We don't really like the same things, we have very different schedules, and sometimes clashing personalities. So, it makes it challenging.
So, unfortunately, the 4 day vacation that was supposed to be relaxing and fun, ended up being stressful and grating. For both me and the in-laws. And now I need another vacation (which from afar, J has already promised, let's see if that promise holds true)!