As I close in on my halfway point of this pregnancy (just 3 weeks to go), I started thinking about all the things that I need to get ready for. Another baby means a lot more planning. It doesn't feel like double, it feels like exponential. B and I have settled into a sort of truce. He does the things that I want him too and I give him the time he needs to run it out. However, this truce will be unsettled when there is another being in the equation that needs as much time as he does (probably sometimes more).
There are somethings I am totally dreading. As it stands right now, I can generally make dinner, go to the bathroom, and take a shower with my little helper. Sure sometimes this means having the child in the shower with me (creepy, I know, but sometimes I just can't wait until naptime) or that B pulls every single pot and pan we own out of the lower cabinents (installing child locks has defeated me, it's a man job and my man is too far away), but we do okay. Now, not only will I have this madness, I will have a whole new addition of madness injected into my daily routines.
Don't get me wrong, we are super excited about NB (new baby, November Bravo, a little Navy humor) and absolutely cannot wait for the craziness that will ensue. But, I feel a little more cautious this time. Perhaps it is experience, after only 16 months, I have learned parenthood is hard, all day, every day, it's a big shift. Perhaps it is just exhaustion, the boy literally runs from morning until night, add in pregnancy and you get one tired mommy. Or perhaps it's just nerves, like I said, B and I have our truce, we get along great, we enjoy our days and I really don't want anything to change that. How do I find the time for two little bodies when the one I have takes up some much of it?
Whatever it is, I'll admit it. I'm concerned and just the tiny bit scared. We are going to have to make it through the first two months of NB's life on our own. J won't be back in time for the birth. So however we work it out, it'll just be mommy and two little ones. To say I am feeling outmatched would be a serious understatement. But, we'll do it. J was only around for the first couple of days of B's life before he had to fly back to RI and me and B made it through that. So we can do this, it just means that Mom has to be on her game and prepared at all times. Too bad I'm just so tired....