Last night, I enjoyed a huge rush of pride for something very simple. I mowed the lawn and trimmed the fence and house. It isn't all that shocking that I was able to do this, I did mow the lawn for my parents to earn money as a child, but for some reason, I was just super pleased with myself after I was done.
Maybe it was that I worked late yesterday, came home and did it, rather than just hitting the couch like I have lately. Or that I managed to wrangle the baby and the dogs at the same time while I did it (a stroller with the breaks on is an awesome thing). Or maybe it was that I did it without J's help.
There is a certain simple joy of surviving that you feel when your spouse isn't around. Some days it's all you can do to make it through the day, other days you feel like you could do it all by yourself. Lately, with all the problems with the A/C and the lost of my Grandma, I feel like B and I have been limping from day to day. Sure, nothing really bad happens, but we just don't seem to be able to accomplish much.
Mowing the lawn was a breakthrough. I did something I really don't like and I really had no desire to do, but it had to be done. I didn't do anything spectacular, in fact, I don't think I did the best job, but I did it. Our backyard no longer can hide a car. Now, I still have a lot of work to get done before people start arriving tomorrow, but with the lawn covered, it doesn't seem like quite as large of a task.