Ugh. It happened. J will be deploying a month early. He'll be gone for 8 very long months in less than two weeks. I know that he is leaving to do good things, but it still doesn't hurt any less.
He hasn't been able to take any vacation and they work weekends. In fact, he is only getting 3 days off. He is super stressed out and hasn't been able to relax at all at home with the phone ringing constantly from work.
There is so much to be done. Both real life and emotionally. We need to finish up some paper work and some stuff around the house. But, the emotional aspect of it has been eluding us both. I feel like we are both in denial. Like we can't process that this is actually happening. We have tried to talk about it, but it just makes us both so upset that we shut down.
I worry most of all about B. J and B haven't spent that much time together. J and I were living on opposite ends of the country for the first 6 months. Then he had a couple of months at home and then he reported to the ship. So, B hasn't spent that much time around him. I am very worried that B won't remember his father when he comes back. He'll be nearly two years old on his return, but will have spent less than half his life with his dad. I just don't want to see the crushed look on J's face when B has no idea who he is. We have been making videos for B to watch and recording stories, but there is so much more that just can't be captured.
Now, I know in the long run, this will all be fine. B and J will fall back into things as soon as he returns, but the thought of how long away that is is crushing. I just can't even comprehend how these next couple of months will unfold. More on that later.