Thursday, December 30, 2010

Christmas Crush

Well, I figured I would take advantage of our brief holiday respite (got home two days ago, in-laws land in a couple of hours) to squeeze a quick blog post in.

I have to say we had a decent vacation. There were some sad feelings about J not being around, but my family did a great job of making it all seem not so bad. They helped with B (I actually got to see a movie!) and I got lots of time to rest and recover. B got more toys than he could ever play with in an entire year and I got some really nice presents as well. Lots of books, flannel sheets, and some time at the spa. Perfect!

Now that we are back, I realized with a great sense of dread...we are 8 weeks to baby. I had been using Christmas as a buffer, just saying, oh, I'll get to that after Christmas. Well, it's after Christmas and we are WAY behind where we were with B. I think that last time, we were just about done by now. This time, I haven't even started yet. Now, don't get me wrong, there isn't a bunch that we have to get. A double stroller, another car seat, and a dresser are all that come to mind (two boys in a row = money saver), but there is a bunch that has to be done. Clothes washed, massive reorganizations, and just mental preparations. Last time, I had a birth plan and doula all sorted out by now. Not this time. There's time, of course, but not much. I have to get my behindy in gear.

But there's more to it that just all the prep work, there's the fact that my little boy needs to get ready for the big shift. As an oldest of four, everything is totally different once the next one comes home. There is a shift to not being the sole spot in Mommy's eye. I'm not sure B is ready for that. Since it is just me and him right now, he gets my attention full time. He and I are a team, we are surviving this deployment together and now I feel like I am going to ruin that in some ways for him. I know I need to get extra cuddle, play, and love time in with him, because no matter what, it will never be like this again. And, in some ways, I don't want to lose that great connection that we have, which we may not, but still, I am a little worried. But, how do you explain to a 19 month old to prepare himself?

Oh well, questions for another day I guess. I have to get ready for the in-laws so I can put this off for a little longer, right?

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