Well, here we are 3 weeks into living in a hotel, kids in full time daycare and Mom trying her best to keep up in school. I can honestly say I have never been more challenged, stressed or exhausted in my whole life.
First off, living in a hotel room with a mini fridge and a microwave is a special hell all to itself. I believe interrogation tactics might be easier to endure at this point. Everyone is on top of each other, sharing a bed with a 2 year old is the least restful sleep anyone could ever get, and I live in constant fear of the kids being too loud (which they often are). Poor B has no where to stretch his legs and my crawling/cruising 7 month old (who does that this early, geez!) is doing his darndest to find every child safety hazard in the room.
Daycare, oh daycare. I don't think I ever truly realized how lucky we were to have a nanny (who won't be coming back, we are devastated and in a major scramble). Seeing the very sad little faces plastered in the door when I leave and come back every day has been beyond heartbreaking. B has especially struggled. And I now live in constant fear of someone being sick and what I am going to do (if you miss too many days - ie 2 - you get dropped from the course). I am so paranoid, that I have two daycares and a babysitter set up as back ups.
And least of all, this school is really hard! I have been trying to shift myself back into study/learning mode and maybe I am just too old, but it ain't working. I'm doing all right, but a lot of times it's by a wing and a prayer. I wish I had more time after class to study, but I have to get the kids by a certain time and I really hate leaving them at the day care longer than I have to.
So, needless to say, the times are pretty exciting right now. I told hubs yesterday, I feel like a dog in the corner trying to fight my way out. I am constantly on the look out for another glitch in the plan and constantly running scenarios for how I am going to deal with them, which makes for one frazzled mommy. Thank goodness it's only 7 more weeks. :/
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Kid Count
So, I have always been confident that I wanted 4 kids. I’m the oldest of four children and I absolutely loved growing up with siblings. When I held T in my arms for the first time, I knew that he wasn’t my last baby. Even in the most challenging of times, I have never wavered in my desire.
Until yesterday. Let me set the stage…B is a poop smearer. When left to his own devices, he will, on occasion (I think this was the 4th time) go into his diaper and “paint.” It is truly one of the most disgusting things in the whole world. It smells, it makes me gag, it’s the worst. This was on top of a challenging morning that included at 5 hour round trip to our next duty station to complete some daycare paperwork where both children screamed the whole way. On top of not sleeping the night before because I am just super wound up due to all the upcoming changes and missing my husband.
So, when I woke from my 15 minute (15 minutes!) nap to find the damage that had occurred in that short time. I lost my sh!t. Completely and totally, I cried, I yelled, I broke down. And I thought to myself, I don’t want anymore children. I don’t even want the ones I have.
Now, I, of course, gathered myself, gave B a shower (a cold one is what the ped has recommended to break this behavior), and cleaned up the bedroom. But, I still didn’t even want to look at B, let alone creating another one to make things worse. After I got everyone to bed, I sat and thought and while I still want 4 kids, I don’t want to have anymore until I can count on J being home more, which is a while off. But more than that, I need to cut myself a break. I push and push and push and don’t rest because pushing makes the time go by faster, but I’m just asking myself for too much.
In the end, I just have to remind myself that it’s 80 days and that I just sometimes have to say no and take a break (but duct tapping B into his clothes first ).
Until yesterday. Let me set the stage…B is a poop smearer. When left to his own devices, he will, on occasion (I think this was the 4th time) go into his diaper and “paint.” It is truly one of the most disgusting things in the whole world. It smells, it makes me gag, it’s the worst. This was on top of a challenging morning that included at 5 hour round trip to our next duty station to complete some daycare paperwork where both children screamed the whole way. On top of not sleeping the night before because I am just super wound up due to all the upcoming changes and missing my husband.
So, when I woke from my 15 minute (15 minutes!) nap to find the damage that had occurred in that short time. I lost my sh!t. Completely and totally, I cried, I yelled, I broke down. And I thought to myself, I don’t want anymore children. I don’t even want the ones I have.
Now, I, of course, gathered myself, gave B a shower (a cold one is what the ped has recommended to break this behavior), and cleaned up the bedroom. But, I still didn’t even want to look at B, let alone creating another one to make things worse. After I got everyone to bed, I sat and thought and while I still want 4 kids, I don’t want to have anymore until I can count on J being home more, which is a while off. But more than that, I need to cut myself a break. I push and push and push and don’t rest because pushing makes the time go by faster, but I’m just asking myself for too much.
In the end, I just have to remind myself that it’s 80 days and that I just sometimes have to say no and take a break (but duct tapping B into his clothes first ).
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Long Overdue Post
What an absence!
Well, we have had an interesting month. We have once again said good bye to Dad and I am kickin’ it single mom style. As is our way, I have done my best to keep us super busy so it doesn’t feel so empty around the house. We have visited my parents and grandparents, been to the zoo, pool and everywhere else I can think of to keep us from moping around the house.
B is adjusting as well as he can to Daddy being gone. Fielding all the questions about where Daddy is, can we talk to Daddy, when is Daddy coming back has been really tough. I just want to burst into tears every time I hear them, but I know that I can’t. Between potty training and nap reductions, B is having a tough time. I can say with confidence, the boy is pee trained. He goes to the potty when he needs to and won’t mess in his pants. Poop is a whole different bag. We are still working on that one. He’s working out some issues that are affecting his normal sunny disposition. But, he still is a great little boy and wows me every day with how smart he is.
T is hands down the happiest baby I have ever met. Almost never cries, always greets you with a smile and just LOOOOOVES laughing and playing with his older brother. He really is a joy. Hearing him laugh at B acting a fool just warms my heart. He’s a solid food man now and I am already noticing a decrease in his nursing which makes me a little sad.
Needless to say, we have been moving and shaking. AND we have a huge adventure coming up in a month. I’ll be starting a school in Dahlgren for 10 weeks, so B, T and me will all be living in a hotel and the boys will be in daycare for that period of time. So, things will be interesting! And I am happy to report that it is only 93 more days until J returns!
Well, we have had an interesting month. We have once again said good bye to Dad and I am kickin’ it single mom style. As is our way, I have done my best to keep us super busy so it doesn’t feel so empty around the house. We have visited my parents and grandparents, been to the zoo, pool and everywhere else I can think of to keep us from moping around the house.
B is adjusting as well as he can to Daddy being gone. Fielding all the questions about where Daddy is, can we talk to Daddy, when is Daddy coming back has been really tough. I just want to burst into tears every time I hear them, but I know that I can’t. Between potty training and nap reductions, B is having a tough time. I can say with confidence, the boy is pee trained. He goes to the potty when he needs to and won’t mess in his pants. Poop is a whole different bag. We are still working on that one. He’s working out some issues that are affecting his normal sunny disposition. But, he still is a great little boy and wows me every day with how smart he is.
T is hands down the happiest baby I have ever met. Almost never cries, always greets you with a smile and just LOOOOOVES laughing and playing with his older brother. He really is a joy. Hearing him laugh at B acting a fool just warms my heart. He’s a solid food man now and I am already noticing a decrease in his nursing which makes me a little sad.
Needless to say, we have been moving and shaking. AND we have a huge adventure coming up in a month. I’ll be starting a school in Dahlgren for 10 weeks, so B, T and me will all be living in a hotel and the boys will be in daycare for that period of time. So, things will be interesting! And I am happy to report that it is only 93 more days until J returns!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Runnin' on Empty
I can’t believe there is already only a week left before J flies out to deployment again. We have filled the past two months with so much family time, vacations, appointments, and other junk that I am just plain pooped. Add in a baby would refuses to sleep and you’ve got one run down mom-mom (B’s name for me).
So, as a look at the next week’s schedule, I’m torn. Do I continue to run myself down cramming in as many family memories as I can to steel myself for the next 4 months or do I take a really good break and get myself as rested as I can for the next 4 months? In my head, I know that I need the break, the kids are going to eat me alive, but in my heart, I so love the wonderful moments we had these past two months and I can’t stand to not make just a couple more.
We really have had an amazing couple of months. We have reached so many milestones and the boys are starting to seem so grown up. B is potty-trained, sleeping in a big boy bed and speaking in whole sentences. T is rolling over, eating solids and sitting up on his own. What happened to my two little babies? We have seen B’s intelligence (and thereby naughtiness) blossom. Who would have guessed the child could correctly identify a tapir? And the most wonderful part has been seeing my two sons become ever so attached to their daddy. There isn’t a day that goes by where B and Dad don’t do something that just makes my heart melt. Last night, it was playing Rock Band guitars together and having a dance party. There is no where T likes to sleep better than snuggled up against Dad.
So, while it may cost me my sanity, I think that I’ll suck it up and keep running on empty to fill my heart and head with great moments that will push us through until December.
PS – Although it should seem way longer, 4 months seems like a drop in the bucket and I know it will be over in no time.
So, as a look at the next week’s schedule, I’m torn. Do I continue to run myself down cramming in as many family memories as I can to steel myself for the next 4 months or do I take a really good break and get myself as rested as I can for the next 4 months? In my head, I know that I need the break, the kids are going to eat me alive, but in my heart, I so love the wonderful moments we had these past two months and I can’t stand to not make just a couple more.
We really have had an amazing couple of months. We have reached so many milestones and the boys are starting to seem so grown up. B is potty-trained, sleeping in a big boy bed and speaking in whole sentences. T is rolling over, eating solids and sitting up on his own. What happened to my two little babies? We have seen B’s intelligence (and thereby naughtiness) blossom. Who would have guessed the child could correctly identify a tapir? And the most wonderful part has been seeing my two sons become ever so attached to their daddy. There isn’t a day that goes by where B and Dad don’t do something that just makes my heart melt. Last night, it was playing Rock Band guitars together and having a dance party. There is no where T likes to sleep better than snuggled up against Dad.
So, while it may cost me my sanity, I think that I’ll suck it up and keep running on empty to fill my heart and head with great moments that will push us through until December.
PS – Although it should seem way longer, 4 months seems like a drop in the bucket and I know it will be over in no time.
Monday, July 11, 2011
The Great Chore Debate
So, I’m pretty sure that all couples have similar issues, but in J and I’s case the “division of labor” debate seems to take up an inordinately large amount of our time. We have been engaged in a battle of wills for about a week now over who will take something upstairs (think Everybody Loves Raymond’s suitcase episode).
For us, we seem to be in a constant one up of who does more and who does more at work this earning them the right to do less at home. With both of us being in the Navy, we both have a pretty good argument. We both work really hard, so when one comes home, it’s tough to get it together to clean out the baby potty, cook dinner, and numerous other tasks that constantly are breathing down on us. I will openly admit that these issues have been a big issue in our marriage. We have weekly “business meetings,” where we try our best to lay out the tasks that are likely to be sticking points and assign them out, but inevitably, something always comes us that brings us back to who works harder.
So, who does work harder? It’s a tough answer. Yes, J is on sea duty and I am on shore. But, there are inherent things that only Mom can do (breastfeeding, anyone?), so even though I might be having an easier time at work (note: might), I still have stuff at home that I am responsible for. So what does that add up to?
As you can see, there’s no good answer. There is no quantitative way to figure out who should have what chores based on who works harder. So, we just have the same argument over and over again. Hooray! One would think that two Naval Officers, who spend their careers managing people, parts, and places could works this out, but no…we’ll argue who works harder until we retire, have no kids at home and then we’ll just find something else to argue about. :)
For us, we seem to be in a constant one up of who does more and who does more at work this earning them the right to do less at home. With both of us being in the Navy, we both have a pretty good argument. We both work really hard, so when one comes home, it’s tough to get it together to clean out the baby potty, cook dinner, and numerous other tasks that constantly are breathing down on us. I will openly admit that these issues have been a big issue in our marriage. We have weekly “business meetings,” where we try our best to lay out the tasks that are likely to be sticking points and assign them out, but inevitably, something always comes us that brings us back to who works harder.
So, who does work harder? It’s a tough answer. Yes, J is on sea duty and I am on shore. But, there are inherent things that only Mom can do (breastfeeding, anyone?), so even though I might be having an easier time at work (note: might), I still have stuff at home that I am responsible for. So what does that add up to?
As you can see, there’s no good answer. There is no quantitative way to figure out who should have what chores based on who works harder. So, we just have the same argument over and over again. Hooray! One would think that two Naval Officers, who spend their careers managing people, parts, and places could works this out, but no…we’ll argue who works harder until we retire, have no kids at home and then we’ll just find something else to argue about. :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Potty Update
So, here we are, a week and a half post-done with diapers day and I have to say, the results are mixed.
First off, the boy has peeing in the potty DOWN. He’s had the past 3 days pee accident free (note the qualifier, more on that later). He willingly sits on the potty and goes without complaint. I consider him to be more or less trustworthy in this respect.
Poop, oh poop. Poop isn’t going so great. After an initial poop in the potty last Wednesday, we have had no success in that respect since then. There have been a lot of cute pairs of underwear lost to the cause. We’ve had some poops in diapers (which he HATES wearing now, BTW) that some how made it out of the diaper and on to the walls, which I have to say is the single grossest thing I have ever had to deal with as a parent. So, poop and B are kind of a mess (ha ha!).
I have to say, we are kind of at a loss for what to do. If we check him mid-poop, which we often do, we immediately take him to the potty and try and get him to go. He will immediately clam up and stop pooping and hold it until he just can’t hold it anymore and it comes out in his underpants or diaper. We are terrified of giving the boy a complex, so we are nervous about forcing too much on him at once.
What’s a parent to do? Right now, we are hoping for some miracle to occur and he will just get it. I know that he is young to be potty trained (2 years, 1 month), so I am trying to not get to wrapped up about it, but I feel like he could do it if he got over whatever the problem is. I just don’t know what to do.
But, to not end on a sh!tty note (ha ha again!), I have to praise my two children for some crazy recent accomplishments. B has finally grasped language. He uses sentences, he counts, he uses pronouns. It’s crazy, it’s like over the past month he just decided that he really wanted to talk and so he did. Nuts! And little T is unbelievable. He may just be the happiest baby I have ever seen. He laughs and babbles constantly, he loves to watch his brother. And most importantly of all (for me at least), he is sleeping through the night!!!!!
First off, the boy has peeing in the potty DOWN. He’s had the past 3 days pee accident free (note the qualifier, more on that later). He willingly sits on the potty and goes without complaint. I consider him to be more or less trustworthy in this respect.
Poop, oh poop. Poop isn’t going so great. After an initial poop in the potty last Wednesday, we have had no success in that respect since then. There have been a lot of cute pairs of underwear lost to the cause. We’ve had some poops in diapers (which he HATES wearing now, BTW) that some how made it out of the diaper and on to the walls, which I have to say is the single grossest thing I have ever had to deal with as a parent. So, poop and B are kind of a mess (ha ha!).
I have to say, we are kind of at a loss for what to do. If we check him mid-poop, which we often do, we immediately take him to the potty and try and get him to go. He will immediately clam up and stop pooping and hold it until he just can’t hold it anymore and it comes out in his underpants or diaper. We are terrified of giving the boy a complex, so we are nervous about forcing too much on him at once.
What’s a parent to do? Right now, we are hoping for some miracle to occur and he will just get it. I know that he is young to be potty trained (2 years, 1 month), so I am trying to not get to wrapped up about it, but I feel like he could do it if he got over whatever the problem is. I just don’t know what to do.
But, to not end on a sh!tty note (ha ha again!), I have to praise my two children for some crazy recent accomplishments. B has finally grasped language. He uses sentences, he counts, he uses pronouns. It’s crazy, it’s like over the past month he just decided that he really wanted to talk and so he did. Nuts! And little T is unbelievable. He may just be the happiest baby I have ever seen. He laughs and babbles constantly, he loves to watch his brother. And most importantly of all (for me at least), he is sleeping through the night!!!!!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Potty Wars...Day 3
Well, we are a solid three days into potty training…we’ve had some goods, we’ve had some bads.
He will go on the potty and use it. We are running at about 50%. He understands that when he goes on the potty he gets candy and treats and is very happy. We have been thoroughly encouraging and haven’t yelled at him at all (self control is waning though). We have started making him help clean up the mess when he doesn’t make it to the toilet. So, I think he gets it, on the potty good, not on the potty bad.
However, he has not successfully initiated any time on the potty. We have to remind him to sit on it and he will occasionally fuss about it if he is particularly interested in something else. He doesn’t always seem to realize that he needs to go, which leads to dribbles. Also, and this is the big stinker (both figuratively and literally), he hasn’t pooped on the potty. He has been waiting until we put his diaper on for nap or bedtime to drop the load, which kind of defeats the purpose. I’m sure at some point I am just going to have to suck it up and let him wet the bed, but man, I don’t want to clean that up.
Anyway, I feel like we are making progress, he is drier for longer and longer periods and we are going on the potty more and more. So, we are thankful for that of course, but it would have been nice if we had one of those kids who figured it out in a day. Sigh…
He will go on the potty and use it. We are running at about 50%. He understands that when he goes on the potty he gets candy and treats and is very happy. We have been thoroughly encouraging and haven’t yelled at him at all (self control is waning though). We have started making him help clean up the mess when he doesn’t make it to the toilet. So, I think he gets it, on the potty good, not on the potty bad.
However, he has not successfully initiated any time on the potty. We have to remind him to sit on it and he will occasionally fuss about it if he is particularly interested in something else. He doesn’t always seem to realize that he needs to go, which leads to dribbles. Also, and this is the big stinker (both figuratively and literally), he hasn’t pooped on the potty. He has been waiting until we put his diaper on for nap or bedtime to drop the load, which kind of defeats the purpose. I’m sure at some point I am just going to have to suck it up and let him wet the bed, but man, I don’t want to clean that up.
Anyway, I feel like we are making progress, he is drier for longer and longer periods and we are going on the potty more and more. So, we are thankful for that of course, but it would have been nice if we had one of those kids who figured it out in a day. Sigh…
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