I can’t believe there is already only a week left before J flies out to deployment again. We have filled the past two months with so much family time, vacations, appointments, and other junk that I am just plain pooped. Add in a baby would refuses to sleep and you’ve got one run down mom-mom (B’s name for me).
So, as a look at the next week’s schedule, I’m torn. Do I continue to run myself down cramming in as many family memories as I can to steel myself for the next 4 months or do I take a really good break and get myself as rested as I can for the next 4 months? In my head, I know that I need the break, the kids are going to eat me alive, but in my heart, I so love the wonderful moments we had these past two months and I can’t stand to not make just a couple more.
We really have had an amazing couple of months. We have reached so many milestones and the boys are starting to seem so grown up. B is potty-trained, sleeping in a big boy bed and speaking in whole sentences. T is rolling over, eating solids and sitting up on his own. What happened to my two little babies? We have seen B’s intelligence (and thereby naughtiness) blossom. Who would have guessed the child could correctly identify a tapir? And the most wonderful part has been seeing my two sons become ever so attached to their daddy. There isn’t a day that goes by where B and Dad don’t do something that just makes my heart melt. Last night, it was playing Rock Band guitars together and having a dance party. There is no where T likes to sleep better than snuggled up against Dad.
So, while it may cost me my sanity, I think that I’ll suck it up and keep running on empty to fill my heart and head with great moments that will push us through until December.
PS – Although it should seem way longer, 4 months seems like a drop in the bucket and I know it will be over in no time.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
The Great Chore Debate
So, I’m pretty sure that all couples have similar issues, but in J and I’s case the “division of labor” debate seems to take up an inordinately large amount of our time. We have been engaged in a battle of wills for about a week now over who will take something upstairs (think Everybody Loves Raymond’s suitcase episode).
For us, we seem to be in a constant one up of who does more and who does more at work this earning them the right to do less at home. With both of us being in the Navy, we both have a pretty good argument. We both work really hard, so when one comes home, it’s tough to get it together to clean out the baby potty, cook dinner, and numerous other tasks that constantly are breathing down on us. I will openly admit that these issues have been a big issue in our marriage. We have weekly “business meetings,” where we try our best to lay out the tasks that are likely to be sticking points and assign them out, but inevitably, something always comes us that brings us back to who works harder.
So, who does work harder? It’s a tough answer. Yes, J is on sea duty and I am on shore. But, there are inherent things that only Mom can do (breastfeeding, anyone?), so even though I might be having an easier time at work (note: might), I still have stuff at home that I am responsible for. So what does that add up to?
As you can see, there’s no good answer. There is no quantitative way to figure out who should have what chores based on who works harder. So, we just have the same argument over and over again. Hooray! One would think that two Naval Officers, who spend their careers managing people, parts, and places could works this out, but no…we’ll argue who works harder until we retire, have no kids at home and then we’ll just find something else to argue about. :)
For us, we seem to be in a constant one up of who does more and who does more at work this earning them the right to do less at home. With both of us being in the Navy, we both have a pretty good argument. We both work really hard, so when one comes home, it’s tough to get it together to clean out the baby potty, cook dinner, and numerous other tasks that constantly are breathing down on us. I will openly admit that these issues have been a big issue in our marriage. We have weekly “business meetings,” where we try our best to lay out the tasks that are likely to be sticking points and assign them out, but inevitably, something always comes us that brings us back to who works harder.
So, who does work harder? It’s a tough answer. Yes, J is on sea duty and I am on shore. But, there are inherent things that only Mom can do (breastfeeding, anyone?), so even though I might be having an easier time at work (note: might), I still have stuff at home that I am responsible for. So what does that add up to?
As you can see, there’s no good answer. There is no quantitative way to figure out who should have what chores based on who works harder. So, we just have the same argument over and over again. Hooray! One would think that two Naval Officers, who spend their careers managing people, parts, and places could works this out, but no…we’ll argue who works harder until we retire, have no kids at home and then we’ll just find something else to argue about. :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Potty Update
So, here we are, a week and a half post-done with diapers day and I have to say, the results are mixed.
First off, the boy has peeing in the potty DOWN. He’s had the past 3 days pee accident free (note the qualifier, more on that later). He willingly sits on the potty and goes without complaint. I consider him to be more or less trustworthy in this respect.
Poop, oh poop. Poop isn’t going so great. After an initial poop in the potty last Wednesday, we have had no success in that respect since then. There have been a lot of cute pairs of underwear lost to the cause. We’ve had some poops in diapers (which he HATES wearing now, BTW) that some how made it out of the diaper and on to the walls, which I have to say is the single grossest thing I have ever had to deal with as a parent. So, poop and B are kind of a mess (ha ha!).
I have to say, we are kind of at a loss for what to do. If we check him mid-poop, which we often do, we immediately take him to the potty and try and get him to go. He will immediately clam up and stop pooping and hold it until he just can’t hold it anymore and it comes out in his underpants or diaper. We are terrified of giving the boy a complex, so we are nervous about forcing too much on him at once.
What’s a parent to do? Right now, we are hoping for some miracle to occur and he will just get it. I know that he is young to be potty trained (2 years, 1 month), so I am trying to not get to wrapped up about it, but I feel like he could do it if he got over whatever the problem is. I just don’t know what to do.
But, to not end on a sh!tty note (ha ha again!), I have to praise my two children for some crazy recent accomplishments. B has finally grasped language. He uses sentences, he counts, he uses pronouns. It’s crazy, it’s like over the past month he just decided that he really wanted to talk and so he did. Nuts! And little T is unbelievable. He may just be the happiest baby I have ever seen. He laughs and babbles constantly, he loves to watch his brother. And most importantly of all (for me at least), he is sleeping through the night!!!!!
First off, the boy has peeing in the potty DOWN. He’s had the past 3 days pee accident free (note the qualifier, more on that later). He willingly sits on the potty and goes without complaint. I consider him to be more or less trustworthy in this respect.
Poop, oh poop. Poop isn’t going so great. After an initial poop in the potty last Wednesday, we have had no success in that respect since then. There have been a lot of cute pairs of underwear lost to the cause. We’ve had some poops in diapers (which he HATES wearing now, BTW) that some how made it out of the diaper and on to the walls, which I have to say is the single grossest thing I have ever had to deal with as a parent. So, poop and B are kind of a mess (ha ha!).
I have to say, we are kind of at a loss for what to do. If we check him mid-poop, which we often do, we immediately take him to the potty and try and get him to go. He will immediately clam up and stop pooping and hold it until he just can’t hold it anymore and it comes out in his underpants or diaper. We are terrified of giving the boy a complex, so we are nervous about forcing too much on him at once.
What’s a parent to do? Right now, we are hoping for some miracle to occur and he will just get it. I know that he is young to be potty trained (2 years, 1 month), so I am trying to not get to wrapped up about it, but I feel like he could do it if he got over whatever the problem is. I just don’t know what to do.
But, to not end on a sh!tty note (ha ha again!), I have to praise my two children for some crazy recent accomplishments. B has finally grasped language. He uses sentences, he counts, he uses pronouns. It’s crazy, it’s like over the past month he just decided that he really wanted to talk and so he did. Nuts! And little T is unbelievable. He may just be the happiest baby I have ever seen. He laughs and babbles constantly, he loves to watch his brother. And most importantly of all (for me at least), he is sleeping through the night!!!!!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Potty Wars...Day 3
Well, we are a solid three days into potty training…we’ve had some goods, we’ve had some bads.
He will go on the potty and use it. We are running at about 50%. He understands that when he goes on the potty he gets candy and treats and is very happy. We have been thoroughly encouraging and haven’t yelled at him at all (self control is waning though). We have started making him help clean up the mess when he doesn’t make it to the toilet. So, I think he gets it, on the potty good, not on the potty bad.
However, he has not successfully initiated any time on the potty. We have to remind him to sit on it and he will occasionally fuss about it if he is particularly interested in something else. He doesn’t always seem to realize that he needs to go, which leads to dribbles. Also, and this is the big stinker (both figuratively and literally), he hasn’t pooped on the potty. He has been waiting until we put his diaper on for nap or bedtime to drop the load, which kind of defeats the purpose. I’m sure at some point I am just going to have to suck it up and let him wet the bed, but man, I don’t want to clean that up.
Anyway, I feel like we are making progress, he is drier for longer and longer periods and we are going on the potty more and more. So, we are thankful for that of course, but it would have been nice if we had one of those kids who figured it out in a day. Sigh…
He will go on the potty and use it. We are running at about 50%. He understands that when he goes on the potty he gets candy and treats and is very happy. We have been thoroughly encouraging and haven’t yelled at him at all (self control is waning though). We have started making him help clean up the mess when he doesn’t make it to the toilet. So, I think he gets it, on the potty good, not on the potty bad.
However, he has not successfully initiated any time on the potty. We have to remind him to sit on it and he will occasionally fuss about it if he is particularly interested in something else. He doesn’t always seem to realize that he needs to go, which leads to dribbles. Also, and this is the big stinker (both figuratively and literally), he hasn’t pooped on the potty. He has been waiting until we put his diaper on for nap or bedtime to drop the load, which kind of defeats the purpose. I’m sure at some point I am just going to have to suck it up and let him wet the bed, but man, I don’t want to clean that up.
Anyway, I feel like we are making progress, he is drier for longer and longer periods and we are going on the potty more and more. So, we are thankful for that of course, but it would have been nice if we had one of those kids who figured it out in a day. Sigh…
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The Battle Begins
Well, we have set a very important date. On June 20, we are starting hard core potty training. It’s just time. There are just so many reasons. The poops are just too gross for me and J to take on anymore. Diaper cost with two kids is back breaking. Plus, B is old enough and has the understanding level to make this happen.
We have made a small foray into it. We have done a couple of afternoons in underpants and B does not like how they feel when he goes to the bathroom. You’ll hear “ew, gross” from across the room and find him standing in a puddle. He hasn’t gone on the potty yet, but he did pee sitting on a chair next to the potty (I personally count this as progress). He sits on the potty multiple times a day happily.
I have done a lot of research into this and it seems there are several camps, the 24 hour camp, the let it happen on its own camp, and the high level of encouragement camp. I am not one to let it happen on its own. I love my son, but it might be when he’s in high school when he decides to go on his own. So, although, I don’t think 24 hour training is in our future, I do think that after one concentrated week, we can get there. It’s amazing how many opinions are out there on potty training.
It’s especially promising because J will be home that whole week and B just loves to do what his daddy is doing. It’s amazing how close those two have become in such a short time. Although, J does discipline him more now, B is rapidly becoming Dad’s little clone. The peals of laughter that I hear throughout the house when they are playing together just make my heart melt. I really think that B will potty train quickly just to impress his Dad.
It will be interesting to see how the next few weeks go and I will report back soon on our progress.
We have made a small foray into it. We have done a couple of afternoons in underpants and B does not like how they feel when he goes to the bathroom. You’ll hear “ew, gross” from across the room and find him standing in a puddle. He hasn’t gone on the potty yet, but he did pee sitting on a chair next to the potty (I personally count this as progress). He sits on the potty multiple times a day happily.
I have done a lot of research into this and it seems there are several camps, the 24 hour camp, the let it happen on its own camp, and the high level of encouragement camp. I am not one to let it happen on its own. I love my son, but it might be when he’s in high school when he decides to go on his own. So, although, I don’t think 24 hour training is in our future, I do think that after one concentrated week, we can get there. It’s amazing how many opinions are out there on potty training.
It’s especially promising because J will be home that whole week and B just loves to do what his daddy is doing. It’s amazing how close those two have become in such a short time. Although, J does discipline him more now, B is rapidly becoming Dad’s little clone. The peals of laughter that I hear throughout the house when they are playing together just make my heart melt. I really think that B will potty train quickly just to impress his Dad.
It will be interesting to see how the next few weeks go and I will report back soon on our progress.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
A Wonderful Life (Mostly)
Having Dad home has been absolutely wonderful. I can’t say enough how glad I am to have my husband home. It honestly feels as if a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I don’t think that I smiled as much in the past 9 months than I have in the two weeks since he has been home. My boys are just loving being with their Dad and there is no happier sound that hearing my son and my husband laughing and playing together. Just melts my heart.
But, even in the wonderful haze that we have been existing in, there’s still a lot of adjustment that has to occur and it hasn’t always been easy. First, the division of chores/diapers has been a sticking point. I have tried my best not to beat the “I changed every diaper for nine months, now it’s your turn” drum, but, darn it, I did and I should get a break from the poop patrol. Also, the constant bend over and pick it up dance that goes with my husband is getting a little tiresome (the man seems to just shed clothes, there was one day I picked up no less than 6 pairs of socks).
Discipline has been another sticking point. B doesn’t always see his Dad as an authority figure (although it is getting better), which drives J nuts to no end. So, he sometimes over disciplines to try and get his point across. Needless to say, B has been spending some serious time in time out lately. Presenting a united front has been challenging. Also, Dad isn’t a let the baby cry type which undoes a lot of the hard sleep training working I have been doing. So, we have had some “discussions” (read: whispered shouting matches) about child rearing.
However, in the long run, things have been great. We took an amazing trip to Disney which let us bond as a family of four (nothing like a plane flight for family togetherness) and now that we are back home, we have been meshing even more. Like, I said, I have had a permanent grin on my face and I know that won’t be going away anytime soon.
But, even in the wonderful haze that we have been existing in, there’s still a lot of adjustment that has to occur and it hasn’t always been easy. First, the division of chores/diapers has been a sticking point. I have tried my best not to beat the “I changed every diaper for nine months, now it’s your turn” drum, but, darn it, I did and I should get a break from the poop patrol. Also, the constant bend over and pick it up dance that goes with my husband is getting a little tiresome (the man seems to just shed clothes, there was one day I picked up no less than 6 pairs of socks).
Discipline has been another sticking point. B doesn’t always see his Dad as an authority figure (although it is getting better), which drives J nuts to no end. So, he sometimes over disciplines to try and get his point across. Needless to say, B has been spending some serious time in time out lately. Presenting a united front has been challenging. Also, Dad isn’t a let the baby cry type which undoes a lot of the hard sleep training working I have been doing. So, we have had some “discussions” (read: whispered shouting matches) about child rearing.
However, in the long run, things have been great. We took an amazing trip to Disney which let us bond as a family of four (nothing like a plane flight for family togetherness) and now that we are back home, we have been meshing even more. Like, I said, I have had a permanent grin on my face and I know that won’t be going away anytime soon.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
5 More Days!
I apologize for my blogging absence, but I have been caught up in a whirlwind of preparations for the hubs return. We just can't wait!
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